Kissing

It’s all About the Execution

Let’s chat a bit about something that is very important to me – KISSING. This is one of those make-or-break skills in dating and relationships – you either know how to do this or you do not. Luckily, I had 8 years of playing the trumpet and cornet in grade school through high school, so plenty of time to develop what is called embouchure, or the use of the facial muscles and shaping of the lips. This is good! It’s like hearing that your play partner is a former ballet dancer. Oh freakin WOW! Why this is IMPORTANT: This is the opening bid, the first chance you get to smell and taste your partner, experiencing him fully. It is the prelude where technique will decide whether this will be 5 minutes or 5 hours. For me, it can literally make or break the date.

There are many types of kissers out there, so let’s look at several types, but before we do, I want to tie it in with how we attach in general because I feel it is important to the understanding of how we become crappy or succulent kissers. I suspect that how we kiss has everything to do with how we organize around attachment – are we more cautious in relationships or ready to move in on the first date? The lips are yet another way we connect or not, what Fritz Perls calls “standing at the contact boundary” and is related to intimacy bigtime.

The Cool Breeze Guy: “I fuck but I do not kiss. Period.” (I want my dick sucked real bad. I’m not really gay but my sex partner is).

The Holland Tunnel Guy: “I approach my dates with a gaping open hole of a mouth kiss because I want to merge with them and I might as well start at the head and work my way down.” Usually associated with lots of slobbery saliva.

The Velcro Guy: This guy kisses very soft and supple however you notice that his lips seems to stick as you are disengaging, as if he does not want to let go. Voted most likely to move in on the first date and never leave.

The Man in the Iron Mask Guy: This type of kissing is more like bumping bone than surrendering into the embrace of fleshy lips. I think of kissing Cornelius in the Planet of the Apes – all skull and bone and no……..anything. Save it for your straight buddies at the gym or that Aunt with the mustache you can’t stand.

The Python Guy: This one has his tongue down your throat in 2 seconds flat, and will most likely be in your other orifices before you can catch your breath. Works for me. ————————>

The Mouth Breather: This guy might be a good kisser at first however the experience will be punctuated with a lot of breaks as he needs to breath and cannot do so with your lips in the way. This one will also be marginal at head also, unless there is some kind of breathing apparatus like a snorkel used.

The Fuller Brush Guy: As you lean in on the approach you quickly realize that there needs to be 2 hands involved to move all of the extended mustache and beard hair out of the way. Could be good as long as you don’t mind tasting some of last night’s dinner. Again, could be good, especially if you’ve not eaten in awhile.

And finally……

The Conductor: This guy kisses as if playing a finely tuned instrument, beginning very softly on the approach to build some passion using both breath and proximity to help build excitement, then moving from the prelude into the first act using the tongue sparingly, exploring the real estate but not cleaning your gums in the process. Next comes more forceful tongue action in addition to breathing together, creating a sort of altered state as you take in each other’s air. Here you will most likely feel some gentle lip biting as they build into a crescendo of both licking and biting and kissing. They had me on the approach.

So there you have it, the Guide to Gay Men and Kissing. The best way to learn is to practice like hell, get out there and ask for feedback from others. I’m sure there are plenty of men willing to give you a try.

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