Erotic Awareness

Yikes! Somebody slap me……..

Cheers to all of you men that worked through the last two classes. The male energy in the room was palpable, full with heat. I’ve noticed that the themes in the past few classes (Power and Surrender in March and Fear and Trust last night) were powerful, bringing up rich emotional material for the men in the class. In designing the experiential exercises I begin with an idea cooking, usually all week, around basic issues that restrict or impede our erotic play. Then I try to come up with fun tactile opportunities for men to connect while being in a state of open curiosity about the process at hand. I do, however, tend toward underestimating the impact of the exercises – in process work less is always more, especially when slowed down.

Slowing down leaves space for what is unknown or just below our consciousness to emerge in a safe and accepting atmosphere, often that missing experience for gay men. When we are very busy, moving, texting and thinking all of the time, we cannot access the wisdom of the body nor can we tune into the knowledge that resides in our belly. Right now I am reading Malcolm Gladwell’s book Blink – where he looks at the process of “thin-slicing.”

He posits that we know what we know about a person or an experience from very little data, often in as little as 2 seconds, and a good deal of that information we take in does not have to do with our brains. I feel that once we really get to know ourselves erotically, we can know everything about a prospective partner (whether they are a good match, as in top or bottom, whether they are selfish in bed or a slug, etc.) given very little data. Go Body!!!!!

So hopefully this is what men are coming away with after a SE class, as this is my intention. I’ve seen some amazing growth in some of the regulars and I’m so proud to be a witness to their emerging from shame and claiming their right to be in their erotic bodies and here on this planet unapologetically.