Coming out

Come Out Already!

“I’ve always believed that doors are meant to be opened. That’s why they have hinges and knobs – you put up a barrier and somebody is going to walk through it. It’s human nature to want to know what’s on the other side.”
- Maddox Donner, ABC’s Defying Gravity

I was thinking about doors the other day, the ones we live behind and the ones we construct for ourselves, perhaps a gateway to another step in our growth. Doors are there for a reason – they protect us from harm, keep us safe yet they can also keep us from taking risks in life, from living a life worth chuckling about in our old age. I’m also referring to our shadow, that which we defend against and deny, and construct energetic doors to keep it all safely locked away from anyone lest they find out. The doors serve us well in this regard, the key is turned, the latch locked.

In thinking about doors, I can’t help but wonder about the existential loneliness that goes along with the locked door. Is a door more about keeping someone from getting in or about you getting out, or being seen, in all of your stuff? The choice to hide behind doors can never be about healing, only protection – and protection usually takes us out of relationship. So, the next time you feel an impulse to “hole up,” to sequester yourself away from others and hide the beautiful sweet man that you are behind a door, think again. Everybody has something going on with them – it is what makes us real. A spiritual teacher once told me that choosing growth is the path of the courageous – placing your hand on the knob, turning the handle, and taking that first step through an open door is what courage is all about.