Going for a Good Hard Ride – Thrusters versus Grinders Part 2

Many of you regular readers know that I love a ride in a sling, even gushed about it several times here.  I began playing with men wildly at 17, in Detroit and then here in SF, and most of that play was around slings as a top – however this last year I tried the bottom role, actually LAYING in it.  Here’s why the experience is so unique:  It is a chance for a body to just let go, both muscularly and energetically.  The sling carries the whole weight so there’s no need to organize around getting your body in a number of different contortions just to feel a nice hard cock up your ass.  I feel a softening in my pelvis like never before because I feel fully supported.  Yes, face it – we hold our bodies just to walk down the street, tighten our pelvis walking to catch a BART train, clench our asshole in a meeting with the boss, even holding our bellies in when we pass a particularly hot man.  Taking a ride in a sling is a chance to let go, an exercise in vulnerability, while still being able to look your buddy in the eyes (or check out the mirror on the ceiling).

Once there, I was really aware of how men fuck (actually I’ve been ruminating on this subject for some time – I tend to do that).  There really is a big difference between fucking a woman and fucking a man.  What, you say?  A hole is a hole right?  Wrongo, little grasshopper.  Women take different stimulation than men so men learn to fuck differently.  My ex, Steve, used to be married to a woman for 17 years before we hooked up.  I could tell we fucked very differently.  He was doing fast jabs with his cock – that kind of fucking had very little to do with me or US.  I learned over the years to focus my cock in a way that brought both of us pleasure – here’s how.  PAY ATTENTION GUYS.  I make sure that I go slow on the entry, then just stop until I feel my partner’s body settle.  This can take a minute to several minutes.  I make sure my man knows that there is plenty of time and that I am in no hurry, that it is about us.  You might even say I do the same thing in practicing psychotherapy.  No, not the FUCKING part, the waiting part, working with the nervous system of whom I am sitting with.  Think about how overwhelming, sensory-wise, it can be to be entered. I merely wait for his body to catch up.  I’ve got all the time in the world – I know that I’ll always get what I want in the end .

When I feel my partner is settled somatically with my cock in him to the hilt I slowly begin rolling my hips from side to side, watching his face the whole time for signs of discomfort.  I’m still not doing the ol’ in and out just yet.  I want this to last, and I let my partner know this with my eyes and touch.  Next, I pull my cock out so that I can feel the head of my cock is gently massaging his prostate, making slow short strokes in and out.  My cock here is only 3 or 4 inches inside, going out an inch and back inside an inch, doing this for approx. 5 times.  On the 6th I’ll slide all the way in, giving my partner the feeling of ALL of me.  Often I’ll put all my weight on him at this point, giving him the feeling of fullness and containment.  The key here is variability.  Next I’ll repeat this pattern of 5 short strokes then one deep stroke with my cock.  Obviously this 5/1 pattern is only the beginning of a sweet good long hard ride.  We’ll get into more tips, tricks and strategies in another post.

Notice here that in no way am I trying to frustratingly stimulate a clitoris.  It is all about slow stroking, the connection with my partner, and of course building up for some peak experiences.  Yes, how you fuck really does make a big difference in the dance and the outcome.  And remember, never be afraid of asking for what you want as a bottom from your top man.  That way you both can have a good hard ride.

UPDATE

BTW, you can find an excellent canvas (Yes, leather you can wash!!) sling from Buddy’s WorkBench 415-819-4538 or buddysworkbench@yahoo.com or the usual leather at Mr. S in SF for about $350.