MEN
I’m leaving for awhile, perhaps never to be seen again. One can only hope. The long weekend approaches and I’ve decided to celebrate by joining the dudes and other cow-folk at Temptation Ranch for some fun in the sun. It’s a great place to relax and unwind – check them out Here!
Stay tuned…..

Dang! This is an excellent book that I highly recommend, especially for those men that want to deepen into the dark energies that get in the way of our full expression as gay men in a world of straight and narrow. The author tells us that by not having mirroring and validation as young children we turn this lack inward against ourselves – the shame eats away at our happiness and our sense of being alive in the world. While for some of you this may be a difficult subject to digest, I found it well worth the read, especially as a budding therapist. I’m always asking “how did we get here – and what gets in the way of our full expression as men, and more importantly erotic men, in the world?”

We are inculcated from an early age on how to be as men, that we’re not doing “it” right, and consequently I hear clients tell me that they do not feel like “man.” Claiming our space as men and gay men is an important part of the empowerment process, which must include letting go of the carried shame of others, telling us we are less than, that we don’t measure up, or that we will never be what is expected.

I say “FUCK THAT!!” We do not have to buy into that or live it anymore. Period. Coming to naked yoga in all of our glory is a wonderful way to heal that shame about our bodies. We do have value.

I’m struck by the role smells play in our erotic play, whether consciously or unconsciously. It is the first thing I notice about a man – well, besides their butt, …..and chest, oh yeah, and their biceps…….ah, I digress. In Germany I am told that men tell their prospective male sexual partners, “I’d like to smell you better,” signaling to them the primary role natural body smells play in our attraction.

I’ve been blessed to have a sensitive sniffer – and last night I was in olfactory heaven. I steadfastly believe we put out different scents in our sweat glands when we are erotically aroused. To find out more about how we sense through our nose click here: Sense of Smell Institute. Also check out this link for the latest study on how our smells change when we are aroused: NY Times.

I can fondly remember a number of times when, working as a heavy equipment operator for a lumber company, I had the pleasure of smelling construction contractors coming in after working all day. It was both a shock and an attraction, assailed by the strong odor that is uniquely male.
Try bringing your attention to how you smell, especially the next time you play – revel in the scents you discover all over your partner’s body. If you tend to be squeamish about this sort of thing, have your partner bathe first, then allow the natural scents to emerge.

There is so much of what we do to hide our natural male smells from clothes-washing soap to hair gels, shave creams to fragrances. I say, “Screw That!” Think about men in the old West – they did not take a bath but once a week. I’m getting hard just thinking about it…