Hold me back please…….
Diving deeper into More Tips Tricks and Techniques from the Edge……….here’s one we did in class in January. In ruminating about the subtle seduction of Glory Holes, I got to thinking about what it is that most surely brings about a Big O. Someone, maybe even a few someones, are pleasuring us on the other side of the glory hole and we cannot control anything about the contact, besides (gasp!!!) pulling out.
Our body faces a hard wall, both solid and immovable, while our junk is getting softly caressed and stroked to an explosive end. There is something seductive about being not in control, especially our own pleasure. Secretly, I’ve always fantasized about having a hole in the massage table I use, about midway down so that when you are lying face down your goodies are hanging all loose and free below for anyone to explore while you are getting a deep tissue bodywork session. Sigh!
Okay, so here’s the good part: Have your favorite man whore kneel on the bed facing away from you while you position yourself kneeling behind him, perhaps even between his legs, with one arm (your non-dominant arm) reaching around holding him firmly to your chest. Next, take your dominant hand and, reaching around to the front of your man, stroke off your partner. His job is to be passive, to be taken, pleasured, abused. And, depending on his size, you can even use the other hand to stroke his head, nips, or neck, while the other has a firm grip on his tool.
While this can and does also work if your cock is inside him, it is much more effective if you are providing total holding (what we call containment). Your buddy’s load will be rich and explosive, all the more so if he can really let go. An optional trick might be to pop in a butt plug into your buddy beforehand, using your hips to hold it securely in place while you stroke him from behind. Hint: “Straight guys” love this because they can always say that it was done to them, it wasn’t their fault because they weren’t in control. Whatever!

Under the heading of more Tips, Tricks and Techniques from the Edge (you just KNOW you want more….) here ’s one secret technique I found that is guaranteed to get your man off big time. The next time your Paddle Daddy is plowing yer ass big time in the Miss Posish (the ol Missionary Position for all you traditionalists) put your arms over head and have your man hold your wrists down. Now you may be thinking, “Dude I’ve been all over that action before – what gives?” Here’s where it gets all interesting and shit. Think about it energetically – give your man a little resistance as he is holding your wrists down. Not too much as you want most of his energy to go into the thrusting, not into holding you down. What you are creating is a little frustration in the system. You want just enough to make him want to try harder (not give up exhausted). It is what we call a distraction technique, a diversion from the hot fucking feelings his dick is undoubtedly feeling – and he’s gong to want to try a little harder to get that yummy-squishy-I’m-going-to-blow-a-big-ol-load-in-your-ass dick feelings. And the timing is very important – I would try this nearer to the end of the play as you are approaching the finish line. That coupled with a few well placed pelvic rotations and you’ll have your man begging for more.
In all of the craziness of the season, what with the buying and parties, the drinking and forced family get-togethers, it can be difficult to feel connected to others, let alone ourselves. Most of the time our energy is moving out into the surround, deciding what prezzies to buy for that special man in your life, deadlines for mailing gifts, all leading up to the frenzy of the 25th of this month. Yet, in all of this madness we can become disconnected from what truly makes us happy. In Somatic terms, discovering and practicing things that make us feel centered and happy are what we call resources.
Where is our center? Just what does this mean, finding our center? Perhaps we know it all too well when we are around a man that is “not centered.” They tend to be spacey versus present emotionally and tend toward reacting instead of acting in situations. Typically a centered man knows what they want and need versus a man that is easily influenced by others. This isn’t about generalizing – more about helping you to recognize when you are around man that is not centered. Typically a man that is centered responds after hearing what you have to say, versus a non-centered man that answers while listening. See where I am going with this?
The German philosopher Schopenhauer wrote that there are two kinds of people in this world – those that think there are two kinds of people in this world and those that do not. You may be thinking while reading this, “wait, what?” This quote reminds me of how we try to grasp onto dualities to make sense of our lives. Good versus bad, dark versus light, open or closed, hard and soft, top or bottom, hairy or smooth – these distinctions serve us in one sense by helping to define and demarcate our place and our boundaries yet, developmentally, it a young way to view the world. Imagine a small infant, learning more about the world with every moment – the concept of dualities helps them discover me/not me, a fundamental shift from the oneness of the mother/child bond.
